Introducing M. Heart

Age: 36
Location: Western Massachusetts
Occupation: Graphic Designer, Art Director
Website: www.secretnotebookswildpages.blogspot.com


1. You created your blog Secret Notebooks • Wild Pages a few months ago. It's a beautiful collection of your own work as well as the work of others. How are you enjoying blogging and how has it changed your daily outlook on things?
when i created secret notebooks • wild pages, i didn't really have a clear idea of what i would focus on or where it would lead. however, only days after my first post a friend handed me a copy of Artful Blogging magazine. through it, i was introduced to challenge blogs and the wonderful, creative community who participates in them. immediately i wanted to be involved — i love a good creative challenge. as soon as i started, people began to visit the site and leave positive feedback. it was very inspiring, and i knew right away i wanted to take the blog in a more creative and personal direction than i'd originally thought i would. as a result, the last couple of months have been a very creative period for me. i'm constantly taking photos, considering my next digital illustration, and looking for new artists and events to write about. it keeps my mind occupied and my thoughts more focused and positive. i look forward to seeing where else it might lead.

How did you choose the name?
the writing of jack kerouac has had a profound influence on me, and name of the blog is taken from his "Belief and Technique for Modern Prose." it's the first of his 30 steps towards spontaneous writing, "scribbled secret notebooks, and wild typewritten pages, for yr own joy." i'm amazed by how many of kerouacs 30 steps seem appropriate to blogging. "write in recollection and amazement for yrself," "write for the world to read and see yr exact pictures of it" "struggle to sketch the flow that already exists intact in mind" there's no doubt in my mind that if jack kerouac were alive today, he would have a blog — a crazy, joyful, adventure of a blog, to share with us. adopting one of kerouacs 'rules' as the name of my own blog reminds me to keep the posts natural, truthful, and uninhibited.

2. You post something every day and highlight the work of so many varied artists, while sharing your own work and thoughts as well. How do you go about choosing your subjects each day?
for years, i carried an unlined sketchbook with me everywhere. i'd constantly jot down random thoughts, sketches, names, recipes, lists...everything. secret notebooks • wild pages is my new sketchbook — the only difference is that it's digital and i'm no longer afraid to share it with people. i try to keep the subjects spontaneous, and don't plan them out more than a day ahead. most of the photos and pieces of art were created only hours before they were posted. i'm a creature of habit and motivated to post every day — which motivates me to create something to post every day.

3. Some of your latest entries share your sadness over your mother's recurring battle with cancer as well as a bit of the feeling of your own fall depression. In other times you posted self portraits of you in a new hoody dress and also in a unique blend of feminine and vintage. How does it feel to put your emotions and style on display for the world to see?
when i was a little girl out shopping with my parents, they'd sometimes discover that i'd snuck into the window display with the manequins and was posing there, perfectly still, attracting the attention of people passing by. being behind the computer screen feels a lot like being in those window displays. you'd never catch me walking down the street in a crazy wig and white mask, because i'm rather shy in person, and doing so would mortify me. but if i could stand in a window somewhere, very still and quiet and wait for people to notice...

as for emotions, they are much more difficult to put out there. however, everyone has experienced sadness, depression, and anxiety at some point, and can hopefully relate. i've read some very personal, poignant posts on other blogs, and even if i haven't experienced the exact same situation in my own life - the loss of a child, for example - i have experienced loss, and i can empathize and maybe try to offer words of support. or, be reminded to count my blessings. we live in a society in which we don't socialize with friends and family as much as we used to. i think we're turning to the internet to replace that, searching for a support network, some kind of connection. whether or not we'll find one there, i don't know.

4. The series on puppets is fascinating? What drew you to the subject?
i've always been fascinated by puppets, and used to drive up to st. johnsbury, vt every summer to attend bread and puppet's "domestic resurrection circus & pageant" weekend, until they stopped holding them in 1998. a week after meeting j, almost 13 years ago now, i went to his apartment for the first time only to discover a whole cast of very unique, detailed marionettes on his living room floor. when he told me he'd made them, i was completely blown away. there's something timeless about them, and they seem to have been bestowed with a bright spark of life. they told me a lot about the imaginative, detail-oriented person who created them, and they didn't lie - apparently puppets don't fib — except for Pinocchio.

5. You talk a lot about your commute and even shared a great NPR piece on commuters. Describe some of the fascinating things you have seen and heard as you travel.
my 40-minute commute takes me on some beautiful, mountainous roads. there are rolling green hillsides dotted with black and white cows, sweeping views of the bershire mountains, quiet woods, quaint houses and often a beautiful moonrise. it's gorgeous to look at, but far from exciting. there aren't many other cars to deal with, or people to look at. there's nowhere to stop for a decent cup of coffee or a pizza. i don't think i'll ever get used to that. if i'm not listening to my ipod, the only station that comes in is npr (which is fine, actually). my commute gives me a lot of time to reflect. oddly, the first and only time i've ever seen the northern lights was while driving home from work one night. i thought something was on fire in the distance. than i thought there must be something wrong with my eyes. it wasn't until i pulled over that i realized i was experiencing the northern lights - an other-worldly green and red flickering over the berkshires. i wish there could have been someone else on the road to see it with me!

one other scene does stand out in my mind though. it's since been torn down, but there was a crazy old ramshackle farmhouse i'd pass by every day. an old man with long white hair and a long white beard used to live there, with a menagerie of farm animals - cows, pigs, chickens, dogs, cats. the house was quite crooked. there were piles of random junk in the yard, half hidden behind unmowed grass and weeds. it was a mess — but it was also fascinating. sometimes i would drive by and catch sight of the cows standing with their front legs on the porch, staring into the windows and front door, which was seldom closed. one summer afternoon, i caught a glimpse of the man sitting on a wooden chair in his overgrown yard. the sun was behind him and glowing through his white hair and beard. standing behind him, one on each side, were two cows, their heads bowed over his shoulders. in front of him were a couple of the dogs. he had a chicken on his lap. the whole scene was illuminated by the saintly yellow light of the setting sun, and if i ever learn to paint, that scene will be the first one i try to recapture.